Every Party Needs a Pooper...

That's what we invited [Camden] for...

Yesterday we had Jake's birthday party and it was lots and lots of fun! He had six friends over, and they all went through Jedi training. By the end of the party we had eight (including Jake and Camden) Jedis who were able to navigate their way through an obstacle course, keep balloons in the air using their light sabers, and summon an R2D2 cake using the force! They handled a thermal detonator and (drum roll please) destroyed the death star! A fun time was had by all...and Jake got some seriously cool presents, too. I've got three boys who are really enjoying all the tiny pieces. Me, I'm just obsessing over not vacuuming them up...

He's 6! (and I'm eating my words)

It seems like just yesterday that I was holding my brand new baby boy. But it wasn't yesterday. It was SIX YEARS AGO yesterday! That's right, Jake turned six, and I still can't believe it! He is really turning into a big kid - and a good one!

So it only took six years for me to eat my words as a parent. Okay, so it's happened before. You know, I used to have such high ideals when it came to parenting. I believed in things like making one dinner for the whole family (I promise you, my kids WILL starve themselves - I don't care what the experts say) and cleaning up toys before more came out (I haven't seen the playroom floor in weeks). Needless to say, I've learned to bend a little. But there was one thing I would never give in about. Until yesterday.

Yesterday, we gave Jake a skateboard for his birthday. It was all he wanted. We've heard about nothing else for the past three months. And he is a very happy boy.

Have you figured out yet what I was never going to give in on? That's right. My children were never going to have skateboards. I mean, come on, my dad - a grown man - fell and broke his arm while trying to impress some pre-teen girls on a skateboard. My children were not going to be doing that.

Jake has to wear a helmet, elbow and knee pads, and wrist guards if he so much as thinks about that skateboard. He thinks it's a small price to pay. And me? I still cringe a little (okay, a lot) when he gets that thing out. But it's a small price to pay to see my boy so happy. And you know what? He's actually pretty good at it!

I Am Thankful...

...that my house no longer smells like vomit.
...for my husband who fixed my vomiting sink.
...for Playstation's Rock Star.
...for people who still love me after hearing me sing.
...for almost-six-year-old Clone Troopers.

Staples

Our Sunday was too boring. At least the boys must have thought so. That's the only explanation I can come up with for what happened this evening.
After a full five minutes of spinning in circles in the kitchen, Jake headed off to put his socks in the laundry room. That's when we heard the "crack" which was followed closely by the screaming. He had fallen (due to extreme dizziness), busting his head wide open.
Now, four hours, one ER trip, and two staples later, I have to say that my little boy has redeemed himself of the flu shot spectacle. He's earned the title - Tough Guy!

Mama Bear's Not Happy

Why are lunch ladies so scary? Is it a job requirement? Do applicants have to prove their hatred of children? Really, I want to know.

When I was a little girl, our lunch lady was the oldest woman on earth. I promise this is true. And she was also the meanest woman on earth. Again, I promise this is true. I was scared out of my mind of this woman. She patrolled the cafeteria, wobbling along, peering at us with her beady little eyes, just hoping that we'd slip up and talk to a friend, or worse, have the nerve to ask her for a straw. Believe me when I tell you that I never asked for a straw. Or anything else for that matter. That woman was scary!

When I was in college I worked as a substitute teacher, often at my old elementary school. Guess who was still there... You got it. The oldest woman on earth was by then the oldest woman in the galaxy. And the meanest. I was a grown up, educated, married woman. She still scared me senseless.

And now I'm a mom. A mom who likes to go into school to have lunch with her little kindergator. A mom who is still scared of the lunch lady. Only one difference. Now, she's scaring my little boy. And that just makes me mad.

So here's my little rant. Why does a person who clearly does not like children even apply to be a lunch lady? What goes through her head? And how on earth does this person get hired for this job? Please, people. If you don't like children, don't work with them. If you can't handle noise, don't spend your days in a school cafeteria. And most importantly...

DON'T MAKE MY BABY CRY!

Weekend Fun...and an Announcement

On Saturday we headed up to DC to see the dinosaurs. We rode the metro, saw the Washington Monument and the Capitol, looked at dinosaurs and mammals, and spent a lot of time in the insect zoo. Nobody wanted to hold a bug, but there were three boys there who thought it was really funny to make Mommy look at big hairy tarantulas. Thanks, guys. I've still got the shivers.

And now, for the big announcement... Drum roll please... I'm getting a new sister! And we can finally officially call Christine, Aunt Christine! That's right, the Boy (my brother Clark, not to be confused with the boys...) popped the question. And she said yes. Phew! We're all thrilled. Well, except for maybe Jake. He's starting to realize that he might not be able to woo Pretty Christine away from Uncle Clark after all...

I Missed This

In our years away from ol' Virginie, I missed the fall. True, Massachusetts puts on a pretty good show, but Seattle...? Not so much.
Good ol' VA. I'll put up with the 200% humidity all summer and the freezing cold winter. I'll even deal with the fact that we get only one week of spring in between the two. It's all worth it for the beautiful fall.
So this is where I live. Pretty, huh?

Superman

"I'm not Camden...I'm Superman"

Not too many U6 soccer teams can claim Superman as a fan. But he was there for Jake's last game of the season!

Obsession

Mayo has a bit of an obsession. In her canine brain, sticks do not belong in water! And so she carefully and systematically removes all sticks from any body of water she has access to. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, there's a catch. Mayo is also terrified of water. You should see her freaking out when we, her people, get in water... So, to get the sticks out takes a lot of courage. But when the fate of the world is in your paws, a dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do! That is, if you can reach the sticks without getting your knees wet. Any farther than that might be pushing things a bit too far.

Uncle Bob's 50th

This is what happens when your camera won't use it's timer feature unless you're holding it. So you trick it into thinking you're going to hold it. And then you drop it onto the nearest table and run. Came out better than we expected!

Happy birthday Uncle Bob! We had a great time at his SURPRISE birthday party. Complete with a silly-song sing-a-long, a poetic recitation by Poppy, and lots of meat. But the highlight of the evening? Seeing Bob jump when Poppy shouted "Surprise!"

I wish I had a picture...

of Camden the Scorpion chasing his brother around the house. And then backing into him and in that cute little voice saying, "sting!"

Trick-or-Treat! Halloween!

We've had a great Halloween, and we've managed to spread the festivities out over the past week.
Wednesday we went to our ward's Trunk-or-Treat. The highlight of the evening (other than collecting a ton of candy two days before actually trick-or-treating) was definitely the young men's gross-out room. The boys spent the majority of their time in there, watching others touch pig hearts, maggots, and bat guts. The boys touched nothing.
Thursday, Camden wore his by-then-dirty costume to preschool to parade around the high school. He was pretty thrilled that he was able to scare "a really big boy" when he said "boo!" Then he ate a cupcake and a cookie and was "too full" to eat his carrots. Uh huh. Oh, and his two little friends, "the fast boy" and "the fastest boy" (no, I do not know their given names, and apparently neither does Camden) ate cupcakes and cookies, too. Good to know.
Finally, Halloween rolled around and we started the day with playgroup at our house. Actually, we started the day by washing the floor because at breakfast someone poured syrup all over the floor. But I'm moving on. So playgroup was fun - and loud. Then in the afternoon we went to a great party at a fun neighbor's house. Camden and I had a great time, making googly-eyed jack-o-lanterns and playing musical tombstones and mummy races. Jake missed his down-time after school and was not a happy party guest. Oops. Sorry buddy. We left after an hour because we were having friends over for yummy pizza and trick-or-treating. We covered the neighborhood with two knights, a cuddly lion, and Spiderman. They were too cute and way too excited! And finally, our evening ended with four little boys racing wildly around the house. Sleep-deprivation and sugar - a winning combination!
Happy Halloween!

Horsey Lovin'

More proof that Camden really does belong on a farm.

Political Commentary

The views expressed in the interviews and commentary are solely those of the individuals providing them and do not reflect the opinions of The Nugget, its parent, affiliate, or subsidiary companies.

A political conversation with Jake.
Tell me about John McCain: Well, you see, he's not really being nice to Barack Obama. Actually, he's not being nice to himself, I mean. By making people think, 'uh oh, we're not going to vote for him, we're gonna vote for Barack Obama."

How is he making people think that? He's making people pay more for health insurance.
Tell me about Barack Obama: Barack Obama is being mean by saying that he will make them pay more taxes. Who will make you pay more taxes? Barack Obama. I don't know why. He just wants to make people not vote for John McCain, but really he's making people not to vote for him!
Who should people vote for? Well,maybe people who are gonna vote should vote for someone, but I don't think it should be Barack Obama. Cause you see, he's doing the baddest thing - making you pay more taxes like I told you.
So who are you going to vote for? I can't vote cause I'm a kid!
Who would you vote for if you could? I think I would vote for John McCain.

Why? Well, you have to vote for someone. I would make myself rich if I was grown up, so then I wouldn't have to pay so much taxes.
What do you think about Sarah Palin? Well, she's not even answering any questions! I don't think I would vote actually, because if I vote for John McCain I will have to get Sarah Palin.

Ladies' Lunch

Yesterday I got to have lunch with some girlfriends from my Young Women days! Though we attended three different wards and four different high schools, we remained great friends all through the years. It's been ten years since we were all together, and boy was it fun catching up - and reminiscing about all those crazy times we had back then. It was great to see you ladies! Let's not let it be another ten years!

(left to right: Sokphal, Susie, Socheata, Rachel, me)

Tough Guy

Camden's a tough kid. And he proved it to me yet again yesterday at the doctor's office. We had gone in for flu shots. Naturally, I had to go first to show the boys how easy and pain-free it is. Now I'll tell you, I'm not afraid of needles. Years of weekly allergy shots and way too many blood tests to count have cured me of that fear forever. But that allergy shot - it hurts! Don't worry, though, I was a good, brave little mommy. I didn't even flinch - even though I wanted to - because I had two little people watching. It's the same concept as when I am able to kill huge spiders and even bees with a smile on my face. Only when they are watching. No boys around and I'm screaming loud about those yucky things! Okay, so now that I'm completely off-topic, let's see if I can find my way back there. So, I got my shot. Next was Jake's turn. Nobody touched him. He started screaming. Then he ran away. I had to pull him out from under the doctor's desk. And remember, this is a big - and very strong - boy! So, amidst the screaming and crying, the nurse gave him the shot, I whipped out the piece of candy I had brought as a bribe, and then I had to work on detaching his strangle-hold so I could pick up his brother. I figured that, although Camden is usually a little braver about shots, I'd still need to hold him on my lap. Well, when I finally freed myself from the big one, I turned around to see Camden climb up into the chair, pull up his sleeve, watch the shot go in, pull down his sleeve, and hop off the chair. Oh, and he did say "ouch" when the shot went in. Tough guy.

Even Better

Remember Jake's tee-ball picture from last Spring? You know, the one where the photographer made him choke up on the bat and that made him grumpy? Well this fall's soccer picture is even better.

School pictures are on the 30th. Think he can learn to smile by then?

Tonight at the Dinner Table..

Camden wanted syrup on his french toast. "I want syrup!" he screamed as he slapped his hand onto his already syrup-soaked plate. "Aahh! Sticky!" And he ran crying to the bathroom to wash his hands. Or should I say to "scrub in," since Camden can rival any surgeon in handwashing thoroughness. Upon his return to the table, Camden yelled, "I told you I wanted syrup and you didn't do it!" my reply: "First of all, I already gave you syrup. And second, you did not tell me that before you started screaming." To which Camden answered, "Yes I did! I said, "euhh!"
Oh, silly me. Somehow I missed that.

Preschool

Camden started preschool today! He was so confident and ready to go that he almost forgot to say goodbye to Mommy... But don't worry, I made sure that didn't happen! Hey, he may have been confident and ready to go, but I'm not quite there yet.
He had a great time. He told me so when I picked him up at lunchtime. He didn't, however, tell me what he did. "I forget," was his answer to that question. I think I'm going to be getting that answer for many years to come. Better get used to it.

10 Years

This weekend we went to my 1o Year High School Reunion. Really, I cannot believe I am that old! And you know the craziest part? This year's high school freshmen were BORN the year I was a freshman!
No, actually it was really great. And it didn't make me feel old. Well, the reunion didn't. The fact that I left, exhausted, at 10:00 - just as the party was really getting started - well, that made me feel a little old.
So in honor of a really great weekend, I thought I'd share some interesting things I learned.
1. Ten years after high school, people look really good! Or maybe the ones who don't are the ones who just didn't come. Hmmm. Something to think about.
2. Watching your high school win a football game is really fun! That's an experience I never had while actually in high school. We were that bad. But we still had fun, and lots more spirit than they do now.
3. There was only one person that I seriously cannot remember ever seeing before in my entire life. But then he knew me... Even after coming home and looking through yearbooks I promise I don't know this man!
4. I now know what a hookah looks like. But I still don't quite understand what it is. And I especially don't understand how it works. I guess I'm still the innocent little Mormon girl. Some things never change.
5. I completely skipped the 20-something scene. Saturday night was the first time I've ever seen a bouncer in real life. Of course, I was leaving as he was starting his night, but at least now I can say I've been to a club with a bouncer out front.
6. I cannot believe I've lost touch with so many great people. And I must not let it be another ten years before I see them again!