Mama Bear's Not Happy

Why are lunch ladies so scary? Is it a job requirement? Do applicants have to prove their hatred of children? Really, I want to know.

When I was a little girl, our lunch lady was the oldest woman on earth. I promise this is true. And she was also the meanest woman on earth. Again, I promise this is true. I was scared out of my mind of this woman. She patrolled the cafeteria, wobbling along, peering at us with her beady little eyes, just hoping that we'd slip up and talk to a friend, or worse, have the nerve to ask her for a straw. Believe me when I tell you that I never asked for a straw. Or anything else for that matter. That woman was scary!

When I was in college I worked as a substitute teacher, often at my old elementary school. Guess who was still there... You got it. The oldest woman on earth was by then the oldest woman in the galaxy. And the meanest. I was a grown up, educated, married woman. She still scared me senseless.

And now I'm a mom. A mom who likes to go into school to have lunch with her little kindergator. A mom who is still scared of the lunch lady. Only one difference. Now, she's scaring my little boy. And that just makes me mad.

So here's my little rant. Why does a person who clearly does not like children even apply to be a lunch lady? What goes through her head? And how on earth does this person get hired for this job? Please, people. If you don't like children, don't work with them. If you can't handle noise, don't spend your days in a school cafeteria. And most importantly...

DON'T MAKE MY BABY CRY!