Friday, May 8, 2009

"More Alarms at Night"

Okay, so I totally stole the title of this post from one of the greatest books ever written. If you've read it, you already know what book I'm referring to. If you haven't read it, you should. Oh my goodness, it is so good. Hey, I have an idea! Let's see how many of you know what book I'm talking about! Leave a comment to show us all just how cultured and enlightened you really are. (And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry. You're probably more cultured than those of us who do.)

And now I guess it's about time I get down to the business of this post. I want to share with you just what kind of a man I married. Are you ready? Here it is! I married a man who can make me crack up laughing in the middle of the night. Okay, to be honest, I married a man who can make me crack up laughing just about any time of the day (except maybe early in the morning, but that's my fault, not his). But in the middle of the night he can do it without even trying. In fact, he can do it without ever even knowing it happened. Pretty impressive, huh? You know how he accomplishes such an impressive feat? He's asleep!

Yes, that's right, my handsome husband is a very entertaining sleeper. And I'm starting to feel guilty about keeping him all to myself. So today I'm ready to share. But just on the blog. He's still all mine elsewhere. Thanks for understanding. So, without further ado, I bring you...

My Favorite Example of Why Dan is Funny at Night:

We had been married about two months (at the most) when I woke up in the middle of the night because my cute new husband was clearly upset about something. Here's how it went...

Me: “What's wrong?”

Dan: “There are TRIANGLES all over me!”

Me: “What?”

Dan: “There are TRIANGLES all over me!”

Me: “What?”


Me: “What are you talking about?”

Dan: “You know, like on PLANTS!”

It was at this point that I started to figure out the truth. He was dead asleep.

Me: “Oh... okay...”

And it was at this point that he, in all his asleep-ness, started to figure out the other truth. I was laughing at him.

And so, because nobody likes to be laughed at, especially when there are triangles – you know, the kind that are on plants – all over them, Dan started to get a little upset at his sweet young wife (that's me). He got out of bed and stomped out of our tiny little bedroom and into our even tinier little living room. He plopped down on our tiny little loveseat (we didn't have a sofa), curled up and, I thought, settled back into a more restful sleep. I had, of course (because this was way too funny to miss), followed him out there, but upon seeing him settled, I headed back to bed. I'll admit I was giggling pretty hard.

So it really shouldn't have surprised me that my handsome husband got a little angry. As I climbed into bed I heard, “I am NOT asleep!”

I giggled a little harder. “Okay!”

The next morning, Dan was confused to wake up on the little couch. And he thought the triangles were as funny as I had. Though for him it was just a story. Me, I got to live it!

So there you have it, folks. I'm a lucky girl because I get to laugh at my husband in the middle of the night. Sometimes he takes over the dog's bed. (She's not a big fan of that one.) Sometimes the numbers on the clock just don't make any sense (to him – to me they're perfectly clear). And once or twice he's run us aground. Poor guy. Those ones really frightened him. But I still laughed. I mean come on, you've got to admit it's pretty entertaining to follow your husband around the house while he looks out each window wondering how he got the boat SO FAR aground. There are houses and cars out there, for goodness sake!

Okay, I'll move on. But you better believe I'm giggling again.

Oh, and I've done my fair share of silly things in the night. If I'm feeling really generous, maybe I'll share some of those soon. I guess it's only fair.

PS. Don't forget, if you know where my title comes from, let me know in the comments! Seriously folks, it is the best book!


Ketchesons said...

I can't stop laughing!!!!

Dustin said...

I love James Thurber!

Greg, Karin, Kylee, Sarah and Emma! said...

Ok...I don't know the book. Sorry, I guess i'm just not as cultured. But, the story is pretty funny. I was laughing! Greg use to speak spanish in his sleep...but it wasn't funny just confusing.

Susan said...

Actually, Thurber could be replaced by Orr someday. The family stories are just as entertaining, and odd!

And for those of you who might wonder if Jen is such a peaceful little sleeper, Dan can tell you about the night he ended up on the floor with a small blanket FOLDED UP on him, afraid to move, because every time he tried to move Jen would yank the blankets off him and the bed. So he chose to quietly lie very straight and still on the floor with no part of the blanket hanging over so maybe she wouldn't notice.

But then again, he worries about pancakes and curtains and Seminary during the night, and he gets pretty excited about it, as I've been told.

Between the silly boys, the silly Daddy, the silly Mommy and the overly emotional dog, it's one pretty fun house!

AJoyfulBabyBowtique said...


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